The truth about work-life balance: Why success doesn’t have to mean sacrifice

For years, the idea of “having it all” quietly whispered that we must do it all. We chased success, stability, and recognition, often at the cost of as well as being hard and overly critical with ourselves.

Closed up, rigid and stern, needing to be seen as and proudly claiming to be the strong and independent woman juggling it all, believing that being soft would mean weak.

And with that work-life balance became another thing to achieve, another act of performance rather than something to embody.

What I have learned over the years is, that balance isn’t created by managing time perfectly, juggling things or setting better boundaries - but it is simply about being more present and aware with ourselves and who we are!

We have been dismissing the importance of ourselves for far too long, trying to fit in, seeking acceptance and approval from others because our own stories (shadow self) won’t allow us to see ourselves who we really are.

BUT, we are entering a new era, one that doesn’t ask us to sacrifice who we are to succeed.

The chameleon years: adapting to survive

Many of us, especially women in corporate environments have spent years shape-shifting. We became who we thought we needed to be: the reliable one, the leader, the high achiever, the team player, the do-er, the “driven”-one.

We tuned into the needs of others so well, we lost touch with our own.

This silent self-neglect wasn’t our fault. It was a survival script that we inherited. Fitting in was how we stayed safe, accepted, and allegedly valued. But over time, we dismissed our needs, numbed our desires, and abandoned our truth and ignored our sense of self.

The cost of dismissing ourselves

This dismissal doesn’t just drain and exhaust us, it disconnects us. From joy. From purpose. From balance. We’ve been conditioned to believe that success must come with sacrifice. That in order to be taken seriously, we have to work harder, longer, and more quietly.

We have become so used to “existing” and “drifting” that we don’t know anymore what it feels like to be truly alive and living.

But sacrificing ourselves for approval or belonging only creates inner imbalance. We feel empty and lifeless even when we’re “achieving.” And over time our health, well-being and our family life suffer. Stress, overwhelm, anxiety and depression seem to be our new pandemics.

No surprise is it?

Balance begins within

The truth is: work-life balance isn’t something you achieve—it’s something you create through being present with yourself.

Real balance begins when you:

• When you learn to value yourself for who you are, not only for your performance and productivity

• Listen inward, not just outward. Ask yourself: “what is it that you really need, how can you simplify and drown the noise?”

• Take ownership and lead yourself, rather than waiting to be led or needing to be in control

When you are connected to yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your truth, you naturally begin to relate to the world differently. You show up more grounded. You become less reactive. Your relationships improve.

And most importantly, you no longer give yourself away but recognise yourself as the success you have been searching for.

Balance doesn't just happen - you create it!

You still want to work—but not at your own expense

I hear too many women eventually “having enough” and walking away from their careers.

Let’s be clear: you want to work. You want to contribute and grow, create, lead and inspire.

You want to feel alive and engaged.

But you’re no longer willing to abandon yourself to do so.

“Having enough” and walking away and seeking fulfilment elsewhere is a sign you will continue to dismiss the importance of your true self and hand your ownership to the impact of outside circumstances.

You want to work with your whole self intact—not shrinking to fit, not proving your worth, but showing up as you are: whole, capable, and absolutely enough.

6 ways to redefine work-life balance from the inside out

1. Be present with yourself first

   Balance begins when you pause and tune in, before emails, before meetings, before reacting.

2. Ask what you need, not just what’s expected

   Meet yourself with care. Your needs are not a weakness. They’re a roadmap.

3. Reclaim your voice and your space

   Stop minimizing your truth to keep the peace. Your inner voice, that silent whisper matters.

4. Notice the roles you play—and question them

   Who are you when you’re not being the ‘good girl,’ the achiever, the helper?

5. Trust your inner compass

   Success doesn’t require you to prove anything. It starts with you knowing your worth.

6. Pay attention to your language

   “Yeah, but…”, “I have always been….”, “You don’t understand…I can’t just…”, “Ohh, I am not sure…”, - this is how you limit yourself.

You are not just what you do

You are not your job title. You are not your performance. You are not your output. You are a human being—worthy of love, rest, creativity, and joy simply by existing. Full of courage, curiosity and natural confidence.

And from this place of presence, self-acceptance and self-trust, true balance is born.

And so is better leadership. Better relationships. Better outcomes.

Because when you are present with yourself, your presence with others naturally expands.

Let’s stop chasing balance like a finish line or a “one day…-thing”. Let’s redefine it as a way of being, every day, anchored in self-leadership, aligned with your core desired feelings, and rooted in the knowing that you matter.

Success is still yours. But now, it’s on your terms.

No more sacrifice. Just you, whole and present.

Susanne Kubik - The Self-Leadership Effect

Hi, I'm Susanne. For most of my career I've worked in high pressured environments in Consultancy and Investment Banking where I perfectly adapted to the corporate soldier mentality, simply because I felt I needed to fit in, feeling otherwise invisible, insignificant and compared myself notoriously. For years I was enduring my corporate existence or forever planned my exit strategy, carrying the burden of needing to be seen as "professional" was more important than being seen as human. However, I learned that there is another way .... Finding my true self instead of chasing outward success has been the game changer that affected all areas in my life positively.

Nowadays I am sharing the simple strategies and mind hacks to silence the inner critic with others, so they can finally replace the self-doubt for inner knowing and find their brilliance beyond roles and job titles and live a live on purpose and with intention.

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