From following the rules to leading yourself
Welcome to 'The Script'
We all have one. That voice in our head that never shuts up. The one that keeps a running commentary on everything we do, everything we should do, and everything we shouldn’t have done.
That inner voice that keeps us restlessly tossing and turning all night long. Mulling over last conversations, work projects, our finances and what to buy for Christmas.
That’s the script.
The script is the voice of our conditioning - handed to us by parents, teachers, bosses, culture, and systems that shaped us. It tells us how to behave, how to fit in, how to succeed. It’s the voice that whispers (or sometimes shouts): “Work harder. Don’t mess this up. Don’t rock the boat. Keep proving yourself. Keep juggling. Keep pushing.”
Sounds familiar? That’s because we all are running been on this script for years. And while it’s helped us “follow the rules” and get by in life, it’s also the very thing stopping us from actually feeling alive and leading ourselves.
Script-on-Script Conversations
When the script takes over, which it usually is, it feels like we’re having an endless argument inside our own head and with the people around us.
At work, this shows up in disagreements where both people are digging their heels in, desperate to be right. It’s the stiff, robotic corporate language we use to defend ourselves rather than actually connect. The script argues, postures, and defends - ego driven, it doesn’t listen. It turns human conversations into static.
At home, the script pushes us into needing the last word, making the other person wrong, or turning simple discussions into full-blown battles. It tells us that winning matters more than understanding. We hurt each other without even meaning to. And even when we do “win” the argument, it doesn’t feel like a winning at all.
The script doesn’t care about truth or harmony - it cares about control. And when it runs the conversation, no one walks away feeling good.
Mistaking the Script for who you are?
Here’s where it gets even trickier: most of us actually think we are the script.
We say things like:
“I’m just … a worrier, that’s who I am.”
“I’ve always been … the one who has to keep the peace.”
“I’m the responsible one, the reliable one, the one who holds it all together.”
“I’m just not good enough, I never have been.”
Sound familiar? That’s the script talking - but because it’s been narrating our lives for so long, we mistake it for our true self.
But here’s the truth: you weren’t born with these voices. You were handed them. Conditioned into them. Molded by them. They’ve shaped the person you look like on the outside, but they’ve never been the real you.
And if you keep believing you are the script, you’ll never question it. You’ll just keep living inside its limits.
How the Script Shows Up
The script takes many disguises. It can be:
Judgmental: harshly criticize every choice you make and everyone around you.
Opinionated: convinced it knows best about what everyone else is doing wrong.
Bossy: pushing you and others to say yes, when every part of you wants to say no.
Worried: constantly rehearsing worst-case scenarios.
Rigid: insisting you must follow the rules, even when the rules don’t make sense.
Status-obsessed: clinging to job titles, material stuff, or achievements to feel significant.
The Corporate Soldier: molded into a reliable, rule-following professional who “fits in” perfectly—but feels invisible inside.
These are all echoes of outdated stories (remember the old operating system?). They look like strength and discipline on the outside, but on the inside, they keep you feeling stuck, heavy, and disconnected.
The Turning Point: Becoming Script-Aware
Here’s the empowering part: the script isn’t you. It’s like an automated program running in the background. And like any outdated program, it can be updated, its channel changed just like you would change the channel on the radio. Over time you learn to disown the program that never was yours to begin with.
The first step is simple but powerful: become aware of the script. Notice its tone. Notice when it shows up. Notice how it makes you feel. That awareness is the crack of light that lets you see: Oh, this isn’t me. This is just a script I’ve been handed.
And once you see that, you open the door to your real self - the one with curiosity, freedom, joy, and a compass that points inward, not outward.
From Script to Self-Leadership
When you stop following and believing the script, you start leading yourself. Swapping the rigid head voice for the much softer, human heart voice. You stop living for outside approval and start living for inner alignment. You become your favourite self, day by day.
And that’s the most empowering way to live: not being pushed forward by the relentless demands of a script, but being led forward by the quiet clarity of your true self.
✨ Journal prompts to spot your script in action:
What does my inner voice sound like when it’s being critical, pushy, or demanding?
Where at work do I notice myself defaulting to robotic “corporate speak” instead of showing up as human?
Where at home do I get stuck in needing to be right or needing the last word?
How does following this script make me feel in my body (tense, heavy, restless)?
If my real self could speak louder than the script, what would it want me to know right now?
Want a coach & mentor who knows how to guide you from negative head voice to a grounded heart voice decision in easy steps and without having to give up? Follow the reflective questions and a book a call here .
Susanne Kubik - The Self-Leadership Effect
Hi, I'm Susanne. For most of my career I've worked in high pressured environments in Consultancy and Investment Banking where I perfectly adapted to the corporate soldier mentality, simply because I felt I needed to fit in, feeling otherwise invisible, insignificant and compared myself notoriously. For years I was enduring my corporate existence or forever planned my exit strategy, carrying the burden of needing to be seen as "professional", hiding behind the mask seemed more important than being seen as human. However, I learned that there is another way .... Finding my true self instead of chasing outward success has been the game changer that affected all areas in my life positively.
Nowadays I am mentoring others keen to find their own compass to replace feeling lost and stuck, lonely and behind in life, for inner knowing and find their brilliance beyond duty, roles and job titles to live a life with intention and do cool things,
For more information and updates follow me here:
https://susannekubik.com/newsletter108706
Start here: previous blog posts you might like to read
https://susannekubik.com/blog/b/Untangle-Is-this-it
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