You know that moment when you’re sitting at your desk, maybe answering emails, maybe staring blankly at a spreadsheet - and out of nowhere, a question drops into your mind like a pebble in still water:

Is this it?

It’s not loud. Not dramatic.

That questions, it keeps coming back more often now. It get’s … a little bit more persistent.

A soft whisper behind the noise of your day-to-day that says: Something’s missing.

But you can’t put your finger on what, exactly.

From the outside, everything looks fine, your career, your life - you look successful, even when deep down you feel you are not quite "there" yet.

You’ve worked hard, ticked the boxes, got the job title.

You’ve built a career, earned respect, maybe even bought the expensive coffee machine that grinds the beans just so?

Joking aside, the daily grind served you well.

But inside? There’s a quiet ache.

A loneliness, an emptiness. You feel hollow, lifeless even.

Like you are the spectator of your own life, never really present.

Like you’re going through the motions of a life that was promised to feel better than this.

I get it. that’s how I felt, too.

The inner whispers we don’t share

At some point - often in our 40’s - something inside of us shifts.

We start to question where we are, who we’ve become, and what we’ve built.

For some, it’s a big realisation, like a lightning bolt in the middle of a Tuesday.

For others, it’s more of a gentle inner tug - a whisper that says:

You’ve been following the rules for so long… but whose rules are they?

And some whisper says:

I don’t fit in here and I don’t feel I belong here either.

We never talk about this part.

We keep these thoughts to ourselves because… well, too concerned to be ridiculed?

Too vulnerable to feel exposed?

Too frightened to disappoint?

That we’re flaky? Ungrateful even?

Not strong enough? In a world that seems to cheer on the “go getters”?

So we smile.

We say we’re “fine.”

We keep showing up to the meetings, ticking the boxes, saying the right things, hitting the targets.

We and our life looks good on the outside, we make sure of it - even though something inside us feels like it’s slowly unravelling…

The good girl who’s tired of performing

We’ve all been taught to play the part.

To be the dependable one.

The hard worker.

We show up as the one who’s got it all together.

Strict and rigid with ourselves.

All because, we have been led through our upbringing, led through our education system and then led through the corporate establishment.

And we followed - societal norms without ever questioning them.

We built careers by proving our worth over and over.

Then we learned to lead teams, lead projects, lead others -

but no one ever taught us how to lead ourselves ... seeing ourselves for who we really are, leading ourselves with care, attention and softness.

So we keep playing along.

The ever-accommodating, always-performing and forever goal-setting Good Girl, even if by now you are a woman.

We act the part, look the part, speak the part.

But we never quite feel it.

We wear the corporate polish like armor - buttoned up, emotionally managed, fluent in robotic phrases like “Let’s circle back,” “Run it up the flagpole,” or “Let’s touch base.”

We’ve become corporate soldiers:

marching to a rhythm that never quite matches the beat of our own hearts.

And if we’re honest, we’re exhausted.

Not just from work - but from the constant pressure to perform, to impress and to pretend we want more of the hustle and grind.

When we actually want something more of an entirely different kind.

We feel guilty for even thinking about another life. One that feels like ours, free, simple and balanced.

We tell ourselves we should be grateful.

After all, we’ve made it... right?

So we keep the ache to ourselves.

And that silence? That’s what breeds loneliness.

When “success” feels empty

Here’s the thing no one tells you:

You can have the job title, the salary, the wardrobe, and still feel like something’s missing.

And with each passing year, a quiet fear begins to grow:

Is this it?

Is this all there is to me and my life?

Now that you’ve crossed the halfway mark of your life, and the sense of fulfilment you thought would come by now… hasn’t.

There’s a rising panic underneath the surface:

If I haven’t made it by now, what else do I need to achieve to finally feel “I’m there”?

The to-do list of goals gets longer, not shorter.

We fill the growing fear and void with … more qualifications.

A bigger role.

Leaving our partners.

Moving house, maybe a different city.

Maybe, now is the time to follow your dream and build your own business.

Something - anything - that will finally silence that voice inside that keeps asking:

Is this all there is?

You might find yourself:

• Thinking that between where you are now and where you want to be there is always an obstacle in the way, as if it's a big mountain you have to climb to get to the other side.

• Wondering if you’ve spent years climbing a ladder that’s leaning on the wrong wall?

• Feeling invisible and "naked" without the job title, roles and responsibilities

• Dreading Monday mornings with a subtle, sinking feeling

• Using online shopping, wine, or weekend escapes to feel something

• Quietly longing for spaciousness, freedom, meaning - but not knowing how to ask for it?

• Feeling like an imposter in your own life, while everyone around you thinks you’ve “got it all together”

• And you feel like a failure thinking everyone else is happy & content - but you.

You’re not crazy. You’re just becoming aware.

And that awareness - however unsettling it might seem right now - is not a breakdown.

It’s an invitation.

It’s a good sign!

There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just ready now.

That inner whisper? The ache?

It’s not weakness. It’s your inner wisdom.

You’re not broken. You’re waking up.

To your truth. To your wants. To the possibility of a life that feels more like you.

You’re starting to see that:

• You don’t want to just exist. You want to feel alive.

• You don’t want to keep pushing. You want to pause and connect.

• You don’t want to keep performing. You want to belong to yourself again.

The old ways - of overachieving, overdoing, overthinking and pretending , no longer work.

They never really did.

But no one ever taught us.

So, what now?

You might think the only answer is to make a big change - quit your job, start a business, move countries, start from scratch.

And maybe that’s where it leads to...

But often?

The real change starts somewhere quieter.

It starts by turning inward.

By reconnecting with yourself, the part of you that’s been waiting patiently beneath the noise.

The part that knows who you really are, beyond the roles, beyond the rules.

Because the real work isn’t becoming someone else.

It’s discovering who you really are and connecting with yourself.

If you’re nodding along…

Here’s what you can start doing today:

✨ Notice the whisper. Don’t rush to fix it. Just sit with it and listen.

✨ Question the story. Who told you success had to look this way?

✨ Give yourself permission. To want more. To feel more. To be more - on your own terms.

✨ Take up space. Even if it’s just in your own journal for now.

✨ Ask better questions. Not “What’s wrong with me?” but “What is it that is trying to wake up in me?”

And don’t…

Try and change your whole life overnight.

But you do need to stop abandoning yourself, by being so hard & rigid with yourself.

Because the real answer to “Is this it?”

...isn’t out there.

It isn’t in the next achievement, reaching the next goal post, the bigger car or looking perfect.

It’s in here.

With you.

And the good news?

You’ve already started, you’re already halfway there.

Susanne Kubik - The Self-Leadership Effect

Hi, I'm Susanne. For most of my career I've worked in high pressured environments in Consultancy and Investment Banking where I perfectly adapted to the corporate soldier mentality, simply because I felt I needed to fit in, feeling otherwise invisible, insignificant and compared myself notoriously. For years I was enduring my corporate existence or forever planned my exit strategy, carrying the burden of needing to be seen as "professional" was more important than being seen as human. However, I learned that there is another way .... Finding my true self instead of chasing outward success has been the game changer that affected all areas in my life positively.

Nowadays I am sharing the simple strategies and mind hacks to silence the inner critic with others, so they can finally replace the self-doubt for inner knowing and find their brilliance beyond roles and job titles and live a live on purpose and with intention.

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