As a child and in school I was bullied and always belittled as “Suzie the Dreamer” which I interpreted as “non-achiever”, “slow”, “don’t have what it takes”.

I always thought of me as the black sheep of the family because I was the only one without a College or University Degree and never felt I fitted quite in.  Not only at home but in my social circles too. This feeling of non-belonging spurned my desire to travel and in my early 20’s lived in the US for almost 2.5 years and then in my early 30’s I moved to London. 

As long as I can remember I questioned and criticised everything about myself. How I looked, how I dressed, what I knew and what I was capable and able to do in terms of successful profession. I carried that self-imposed label as non-achiever with me like a batch of honour. But then to overcome my “limitations” I put on that mask of perfection that the outside world saw of me. My insecurities then showed as aloofness at work, meticulous colour coordination in my fashion choices. and I kept chasing qualifications and chasing the next big thing. The need to DO something all the time and filling every hour of the day with activity. 

I tried so hard to be someone that I wasn’t and it felt exhausting and tiring because of the stories I kept telling myself on repeat. I didn’t know that being me, the real me, was even an option and how would that feel like to have a relationship with myself? 

It wasn’t until the summer of 2014 when my curiosity got the better of me and I signed up to a 5 day coaching course. Those 5 days changed everything.